I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
