he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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