I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
