Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
