Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
