I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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