how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
