On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
