pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
