Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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