Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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