I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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