I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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