Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
