I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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