so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
