Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
