he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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