she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize