this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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