i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
