We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
