I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My liver just had a heart attack.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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