So drunk its hurt
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
