You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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