she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He felt like a one man threesome
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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