speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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