you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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