i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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