He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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