It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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