Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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