Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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