Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
