I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
