my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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