Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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