The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
