I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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