tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
