So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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