He asked to "fluff my boner.."
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
