Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
