no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
