Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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