I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
