He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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