I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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