so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My underwear smells like fireworks.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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