At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
