she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
