That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize