If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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