Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize