it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize