I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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