At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
