First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
