I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You work out of a Hotel?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
