I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The beer is more important than you right now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize